Over the past 8 months I have had the luxury of time that I have not known in this lifetime. It has been unsettling at times. It has challenged me to discover other hidden gems within me that busyness would not allow. They say age has something to do with that, maybe so, and I also know I have had to make the choice daily not to get busy again for then I am a productive citizen earning my keep on this planet called earth.
About 2 years ago I found this "floater" on the edge of the beach that someone had put next to the garbage can. My heart leapt for joy. What that person saw as garbage from the sea I saw a gift from the sea. I brought it home and let it sit in the sun. It had collected over it's travels floating on the ocean waves many "riders" from the sea. I researched the floating glass ball to discover it had probably orginated from Japan and the glass ball had been blown from recycled sake bottles leaving a trademark of the glass blower. It had been used to keep the nets floating for the fishermen over the years until it broke from the nets and floated for who knows how long in the sea of life. It finally showed up in front of me to mirror to me my life over the years. What a treasure I recognized so I guess I had to look in the mirror and say "what a treasure" reflected back into my own eyes.
Allowing myself time to sit in the garden and stare at the blooms, or sit in the corner of my couch and just watch the clouds in the mountains take on different shapes or even wake up and not rush to get out of bed and do something. I noticed my own treasure of self. New for me, beginning to realize I now want this “time” floating on the waves of life incorporated into my life on a regular basis for I see life more clearly. I hear thoughts that are mine float to the surface for me to ponder. I notice the butterfly joining another as the wind pulls it across the banana leaves. I notice my old held beliefs that tell me not to let anyone know or see me not doing anything. I notice the measuring stick that I give to myself of accomplishing, or helping so that I earn the right to exist today.
What has been the sweet surprise is that I have truly captured the essence of me. I have found my thoughts, my desires, my dreams instead of what I thought were mine really were not mine. I feel my heart expanding and breathing from my creative bowl for new possibilities not even on a wave length of knowning as of yet. I trust the little inklings I am feeling and let them rise like chocolate bubbling in the pan before it gets to just the right thickness for pouring onto the sheet to cool and shared with the world. I could not have noticed this if I had joined the busyness of life as I have known it for 64 years of my life.
2017 brings me to a new beginning full of possibilities yet to be discover as I embrace another new layer of my creative juices and jump from this little island of Kauai that I have called home to a new adventure in New Mexico, “the land of enchantment”. I open wide and deep and allow the letting go of what has filled me to emptying out for fireworks of creative juice I have yet to experience.